I started noticing 2 or so months ago that I started to get depressed. I have never had depression, I have always been a fun, bubbly, happy, upbeat person. I really had no reason to get depressed, up until recently. It all happened when the assessment up and left and feeling like I had a boss who didn't care for me, but only for herself. I already had a hard time leaving my job in Seattle. It was REALLY hard to leave and I cry every time I think about my job, and my many awesome bosses I have had, really, every boss I had was amazing. The company set a very high standard for any future employers. Not only was I leaving a fantastic group of coworkers and boss, but also the most amazing group of seniors I had ever met. Each person in the community got a bit of my heart. I started crying over what I left to what I was currently dealing with. I also had a hard time leaving my friends, especially my closest friends, and my Girl Scout Troop. I can now say my hometown in Elko, NV, but where I am from is Everett, WA. My whole adult life was started in Everett. I started my family in Everett, my job, my friends. I had a really hard time making friends but I made a great group of friends when Ariana started going to school and I got involved in Girl Scouts. I still cannot believe I left everyone behind, but I know without a doubt where I am now is where I should be, and that is what is keeping me moving forward. I have told people that I miss the Chateau, everyone I was close to in girl scouts, and my friends; but, I really don't think anyone truly understands except for Will, and my old co-worker Celeste. Will has seen my sorrow, my crying. Celeste had seen how happy I was when I started my old job, to how depressed and sad I was when I quit. Celeste has now seen how happy I was on Friday after my first day of work at my new job. If those people, you know who you are, are reading this, I want you to know I truly miss every single person in Seattle, especially those people closest to me.
Anyways, on with the story of my crazy boss!
When I started working at my last employer I signed a few papers, which I almost didn't sign, but decided to because I was excited about this new job and wanted to be the best employee. I signed 1 paper that states I cannot have another job while working there. The second form was a paper stating I cannot work for an employer that is another employment vendor. The third form states that I have to take a class and if I quit before 18 months of employment I have to pay her back for the class. I had second thoughts with signing these papers but didn't think much about it, it should have been a red flag.
My first day on the job I was trained a whole 4 hours. Yes, I have a great office background, but in reality any employee needs more than 4 hours of training. Then there were projects I had to do that were a yam, bam, here you go. My bosses training technique is I will sit down with you for 10 minutes and quickly explain what needs to be done, then update the policies and procedures book so others in the future can train them self from a poorly made manual. After my 4 hours of training I found out my boss (I was an Admin Assistant to the President of the company- aka- the president is the owner of her company) was going on vacation the following day for 10 days. My tasks for the 10 days was to look over all client files and familiarize myself with each client, and to familiarize myself with the database. At the interview I was told I was a "front end clerk" not a admin assistant, and I would be assisting the Admin Assistant... Little did I know the Admin Assistant quit and had 4 hours to train me. I got a "promotion" to Admin Assistant in the beginning of October with a raise. When I quit in my letter of resignation I politely complained of my lack of training and I felt like I wasn't catching on after 4 months on the job. Her response was "I felt like you were fine and I kept telling you that you were doing a good job", what I feel, and how she feels is totally different. This lady is in denial because I got daily emails on how I will eventually understand the work because her employees have worked for her for 8 years so I have a lot of learning to still do. So.... that gives you an idea of what I walked into.
After my boss got home from her vacation I felt like things might get better, I was finally getting a steady flow of work handed my way. For the first month or so after she got home I felt like I might enjoy this work, except for the lack of human interaction. The office had 5 employees and I was usually the only one in the office I could go a whole week of zero human interaction besides the occasional emails and a phone call once a day from my boss that lasted 5 minutes. I thought the radio was helping but that only helps for so long.
So, the pivotal downward spiral happened when I was asked to do an assessment on a new client. I worked for an employment agency that contracts with the state that helps disabled adults get jobs. The agency would get a client from the state then the agency will do everything to help the client find a job, get a job, then do 90 day job training. So, a new client has to come in and do an 8 hour assessment (split into 2 - 4 hour sessions). I was asked to do an assessment and I came in early and prepared myself for this client. My boss said that she would never leave her employee alone on their first assessment. My boss couldn't make time for me. She came in 5 minutes before the client and quickly ran over what needed to be done. The client came in and she did a quick introduction (10 minutes) then had to leave the office to go do something with another client. I was left alone to do an assessment. The assessment lasted about 45 minutes before the client freaked out and walked out on me. I cried from 12:00 (when the client left) until I got home and went to bed. I had a few times when I could compose myself but the composure didn't last long. I decided at that time this wasn't for me and I needed to find something else. I almost walked off the job then, and I probably should have but I kept a little voice in my head that said I had bills to pay, and it looks best on your resume with no relapse of employment. That was my rock bottom.
From that day things were just weird in the office, I had some good days but those all happened when I was alone with plenty of work to do, work that I understood how to do. But the longer I worked there the longer the days felt it seemed like I was never going to go home and I had zero umpf to get any work done. My former boss would have me do weird things, like watch her vehicle when 3 cops are in the parking lot. I had email after email stating I wasn't getting my work done when it was very clear I was. My boss would start rolling her eyes at me, or talking on the phone to a perspective employer for a client while reprimanding me. She would have me call a perspective employer multiple times to clear up an issue she made, but making me take the blame for it.
When one of my coworkers got fired she said that she had never had to do it before, when in fact, I had found out that multiple other employees were fired within a short period before I started working there. At my interview she said she would never raise her voice as she won't yell, and she has never had to lay off any employees, or fire them.... Ok, I give her credit I never once heard her raise her voice, but I know of many employees that were fired. I was quickly finding out that my boss is a pathological liar. There are so many stories that I can tell, but the good thing is, I am out of her office and no longer her employee. My next post will be more about where I am currently at, and the crazy story that happened and why I think this is hopefully the job that makes me feel good about working again.
The main point of this story is to share with people my experience. If an employer has you sign papers you second guess on signing, or starts making you feel belittled, or you get depressed from an employer, it isn't worth it. Don't let someone make you feel small and worthless, get out of that situation or employer. Life will work out. I wish I hadn't signed the paper stating I would repay her certain things if I didn't stay for 18 months, or I couldn't work for certain employers, or get a second job. If someone if financially hurting and needs a second job to survive no employer should tell you that you can't. She put so much control in my life for 4 months. I hope no one else has to go threw my experience.
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